5 Ways to Connect to your Teen Boys

Hi everyone~  As many of you know I have one daughter and two sons.  My boys were always the chatty ones, willing to share all details and “bathroom humor” with little coercion. But, as my oldest son settled into the teenage years, he was less talkative. And, this drove me crazy.  What I found out is that my questions drove him just as crazy.  In fact, with every question or move I made to get a glimpse into his day, he retreated.   But, over the past year I have taken steps to connect to my boys without them realizing it!   Some suggestions are more obvious than others, but I have found at least one of these suggestions works on any given day.   Thank God they don’t actually believe I have a blog: one of them doesn’t even know what a blog is and the younger son refers to it as my “diary.”  I wouldn’t want them to find out about my trade secrets!  Here’s 5 ways to connect with your teen sons:


1.  Listen to a sports talk show before picking your boys up or while driving to and from school/practice.  I tune in before I pick up my boys so I have a few “talking points” about the Broncos, recruitment, scandals.. whatever is trending in the sports news.  We joke about 104.3 The Fan hosts (D-Mac and Big Al).  I don’t even know their last names; on is a former Denver Bronco and he has the best laugh.  It’s like knowing  a little bit about draft picks or other stuff gives me street cred!

2.  FOOD!   Food makes the “grumpies” go away and when boys are happy they tend to share more of their day’s events.  Food!

3.  Make fun of yourself or share an embarrassing story that involves you. My boys are tennis players and nothing gets them to crack a smile than  sharing with them my amazing serve (not) or the time I got caught up in the net, separating the courts, and fell flat on my face or, or, or…

4.  Share stories about your childhood or their  grandparents’ childhood. Kids need to be reminded we were once  kids and did funny things. My {first} husband shares his stories that sound like a scene from Stand By Me.  My brothers, their uncles, share stories from their high school and college days reminding my kids  they were once cool, “players” and had a group of friends that were the most important part of their lives.

5.  Learn their non verbal ques.  I remember in graduate school learning many times it’s not what someone tells you, it’s what they don’t say which is more important. I can tell by my son’s  footsteps as he enters the back door what kind of day he had at school or practice.  I can tell when one them either  turn up the radio or slide their ear buds on; a subtle hint for me to stop talking.  Again, often times their moods signal hunger, thirst or fatigue. Sound familiar to the toddler years?

What ways have worked for you to connect to the  tween/teens in your house?

Linking to: tatertots & jello


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